Daily Journal

I hate my life and I hate that I have to live through the pain of suffering when I just want to be in Heaven with God so I won't have to worry about Judgement Day. I really feel that God is trying to show me that if I give my life to him, them things will get better because being a sinner doesn't make my life no better. My sister's friend yelling at me over some tray that could have been done by herself in less than a minute. And the crazy thing about it is that she didn't stick up for me or told her that she was being too harsh on me which I felt like she was misusing me and she never listens to what I have to say and that makes me mad even more. But then it got even worst when I was in my math class and Ms. Hoffman had us pick groups with different instruments to make a band and I felt left out because I didn't know anyone that I could be with and I had to be in an all guys group as the only female. They didn't do anything but play around and I felt like crying but I'm very quiet as a person. That is why I want Amanda for stuff like this and to come back but I know it's too late because one she's gone she is gone. I don't want to live anymore, might committ suicide because I don't mind doing it just to get out of here.